Bridal Shower

my shower and stagette happened on last Saturday. i had no part in the planning and other than the date, had no other info about it until my MOH told me to show up at the Sheraton wall centre at 3pm on that day.

I was getting a bit nervous because I know that there will be lots of drinking, and was worried that I had to do embarrassing things (well, the embarrassing things happened on their own after I passed out). I had specifically asked for no male strippers.

when i arrived at the Wall centre with 2 of my guy friends (they are not guys to me, but they are my 'paper sisters jee mui'), we bumped into other friends from dragonboating that were invited, and waited for my bridemaids to get us. when they took us to the room, i was amazed how awesome the suite was. there were food, and right away, we had some mardi gras beads on us for a game where no one is allowed to cross their arms, fingers or legs and if we catch someone doing that, we take a strong of beads from them. it was mellow at first but it started becoming hardcore when ppl were caught crossing their toes inside their socks!!

we ate and chatted for about an hour while more people showed up... around 15 ppl were there and we started playing games where it tests how well my friends know me and how well i know ed.

one question about ed to me asked by my MOH (questions and answers supplied by Ed):

"which one of the bridesmaids would ed NOT do?" (the room bursted in laughter)

I mumbled to my friend "i don't think it's Fay" and she said "What's wrong with me!" and I couldn't figure out who... then my buddy Tyron said "HE'D DO ALL THE THEM!" and I took his answer and got it right! Whooo... hoorah for having a slut fiance!

my MOH kept feeding me drinks (giving me shot after shot when i'm not paying attention) and by dinner time (we ordered pizza for the room and watched the canucks win), i was pretty drunk. then they started dressing me up with the theme "CHICAGO" (the musical) by curling my hair and giving me sexy props and stuff... well, i was in the midst of passing out. Somehow, i managed to not fall into the hot iron while my bridesmaid was curling my hair and stumbled out of the room and passed out in the living room, FACE DOWN. Everyone took turns posing with me and a 7.5" black rubber c*ck. After awhile, i was dragged outside for some fresh air and I was sober again! So we went to the club, danced off the alcohol, went back to the suite and called it a night.

i was really impressed at the organization of this by my bridemaids... the whole planning of the cake, the games, the prizes and even the favours... they were all so cute (so are my bridesmaids).

Wedding Band

I finally got my wedding band! After procrastinating for months, Ed finally kicked my butt off the couch and start searching for a ring.

I wanted a simple but unique style, I didn't want it too flashy either... those that know me and saw my engagement ring knows that I'm all about quality over quantity ;) so about half a year ago, the search went stale and shortly afterwards, I completely forgot that i needed a band.

After searching, I thought I would want to get something with a twist in the middle so that the diamond on my engagement ring can snuggle right next to the ring without any gaps. My engagement ring was custom designed by Ed (i know! who knew, eh) and didn't think to get a band because he wanted me to pick one. The one i picked has a notch in the middle for the engagement ring to sit next to it and has a bit of small diamonds on top (really small so it's like blingy or noticeable)

I will post a pic up of the band that i like and the band that Ed bought.

OMG, 8 weeks away?!

It's been pretty mellow since my last post... handed out invites and that's about it.

It wasn't until New Year's day when Darren said to us, 8 more weeks! That is actually pretty fast!

I panicked a bit because I actually didn't do that much... so on new year's day, I was sending out emails to the DJ, florists, venue manager, and bridesmaids to follow up on things so that I feel I am actually doing something.

Then there's also things like the cake which is not a big deal to us, thought a small slab would be good enough for cutting purposes since we have a dessert buffet, but his mom wanted one that could feed more so we're getting a bigger one for twice as much.

Flowers - never occurred to me that our relatives may get upset if they don't have a flower pin for them. I also thought flower pins are a nuisance because *we* never wear ours... but friends that have gotten married have said that some relatives feel more important if they have a pin to show that they are part of the wedding party. Please take a poll or comment on whether we should do the flower pins for the relatives...

Then there's the marriage license... bleh, who needs a license to get married? Ed's not a car or a firearm... oh wait, sometimes he does blow up when I push the right buttons... anyway, I assigned that duty for Ed.

Ed and I have realized that it's easier to just pay more and smile and nod so that everyone (we don't mean the vendors!) is happy.

Here's something stressful - SNOW. It's been snowing like crazy in the Greater Vancouver area. I have this fear that we will be snowed in and no one will show and that's not the part that I'm worried, the part I'm worried about is whether we get to take all the food home and freeze it. We mustn't let food go to waste! It's already bad that it takes over an hour to get to Westwood, and even if it's not snowing in Vancouver, residents of Westwood have claimed that it's not uncommon for the Plateau to have snow until mid-March. This is far worse that random ninja attacks.

We also went ring shopping again, will post more later.

DIY: Invites and Ceremony Programs

I've managed to complete about 90% of the invites today. Ed's mom and my mom are in the process of sending out the chinese invites to their buddies.

These are the different designs of invites we are sending out. The gold ones are unprofessionally printed by chinatown clowns (refer to posts below). The purple and red ones are designed by yours truly. The inside of the custom invites is layered with matching heavy stock. And those ladybugs are just too cute (they are made of foam)... a card with vellum stickers, flower with jewel, and ladybug foam... one would think this is an invite to a 5 year old's birthday party! And those ladybugs... they are just like me and Ed... especially when we're fighting and ripping each other's wings off...!

Every envelope is different... sorry, if you're invite is being mailed to you, you don't get the luxury of having a custom designed envelope!

These are the ceremony programs. I only have 40 made so better come early to get your hands on these awesome programs. It looks white here, but it's vellum paper on top on pastel blue and silver silk paper. I hand punched 2 holes and used a burgundy silk ribbon to attach it.

Yes, it's a lot of work but luckily I love crafts so everyone wins!

If you have received yours, please respond to the email address on the invite.

If you receive yours later this month, please note that you are NOT our back up! We actually DO NOT have secondary lists. You're probably the 10% that I haven't completed your invite yet, and I'm returning to work tomorrow so that means it'll take longer!

If people can't come, we will just have a smaller guest party.

Bridesmaids perks!

I never realized that it is common for the bridal party to pay for their own expenses and attire. Recently, I've had friends that asked me if I am subsidizing any of the bridal party attire and services... and I thought that was an odd question since I'm paying for everything. But apparently, it is more common nowadays to ask the bridesmaid to chip in for their own attire, make up, flowers, etc.

That said, WHY DIDN'T SOMEONE TELL ME THIS SOONER?!?! (I'm just kidding)

Reasons why I happily choose to cover for all bridal party expenses:

1) My bridesmaids are my close friends. It is MY honour to have them with me on this crazy day.

2) Bridesmaids don't have to spend time helping me organize things, or come out for fittings, or do other errands... but they do. They each have a responsibility, and I trust each one to be able to fulfill their duties. They are all doing a super great job.

3) I owe my baby cousin one... I used to bodyslam her all the time when we were kids. Remember Muscle Man figures? Well, her brother and I treated her like a MM figure! So I'll make her a bridesmaid, and we can call it even (especially since she is much stronger, taller and leaner than me now)... right, cat?

4) They will drink on behalf of Ed. None of the groomsmen can hold their own liquor, but I have 2 out of 3 bridesmaids that were born inside a keg.

Ideally, I wish to include a few more bridesmaids and 2 bridesmen... but we stuck with 3 instead of having like 10 (we're not greek haha).

Dumb and Dumber

I told Ed tonight that I wanted to get a birdcage veil for my wedding dress. He asked me how it looks like and I motioned around my head and said 'You know, like my goalie mask... without the helmet part.' He said okay and turned back to his computer.

A couple minutes later, he pulled me around from my computer and told me that he thinks i'm trying too hard to be different. I'm like 'Really? It's not that different from a regular veil.'

He said that having a birdcage is just WEIRD. So I pulled up a photo and asked him what makes him think this is weird.


Ed exclaimed 'Oh, that's what it is? I thought you meant you're going to put an actual birdcage on your head, with the metal and stuff...'

Couple minutes later, I sent this to him and asked if he would still marry me if I used this veil instead.


I think the canary adds a nice touch.

Why I Hate Dealing with Chinese Businesses

I realized today that the there was a spelling mistake on the chinese invites.

FEBURARY. Ok, I'm pissed because we didn't catch that and Ed signed the final draft.

But I'm also pissed because it was correct in the previous drafts and suddenly it was different in the 4th draft where we signed it. I was so busy looking for other errors that were correct so it's not like boom, this is done. We had to backtrack so many times to catch the other mistakes.

What I don't understand is that February is a standard month (and a basic word) so it's not like we have a 30 letter last name full of consonants. And I felt like we were tricked or something... if it was correct in the previous drafts, why &#*$ it up?

I immediately called my mom in HK to rant, then she said she doesn't care because she doesn't know english to even realize that it's wrong, so she told me to double check with my in-laws to see if they are okay with it. I called my future mother-in-law to complain and she said she doesn't mind the mistake either. I'm sure as I'm ranting about the typesetter that can speak perfect english to us, his mom must be thinking who is this crazee (typo but I'm keeping it) joining her family in a few months!

So Ed's like "your mom doesn't care, I don't care, my mom doesn't care, my dad doesn't care, ONLY YOU CARE!" Damn right, I CARE!

Anyway, I would not recommend RSVP Invitations (in Chinatown) to anyone anymore.

Wedding for the Colour-Blind

I am legally blind. However, I have a sharp eye for colours. I can quickly point out the difference between moss green, lime green, camouflage green, spring green, hunter green, olive, teal, well you get the idea.

I've been pretty picky with getting the perfect shade of brown and blue for the decorations (with not much luck, I might add). Since the bridesmaids dresses came in and I realized that it's more burgundy-brown rather than true chocolate brown, the idea of getting the colours I want pretty much went out the window.

So... my wedding is no longer chocolate brown and tiffany blue. I'm getting all sorts of other colours involved just because! My current theme colours are brown, tiffany blue, royal blue, ivory, pink, silver, burgundy and hot red. If you have any suggestions, let me know and I'll throw it in your good honour.

So rather than having a wedding with a colour theme, my wedding theme is for the colour-blind.

Partly Dream Wedding

With all the ranting coming from Ed recently to others about how much time and effort I put into the details of our wedding, I would like to share a part of my vision of a dream wedding.

My dream wedding would not consist of any of these events that I have been blogging since the summer. If it was entirely up to me, a wedding banquet would not even take place. However, Ed is the first son that is getting married in his family, so we must respect all the really old folks that are holding on to their dear lives waiting for the day someone takes Ed off the market (you are all very welcome). I want to make it fun, enjoyable and memorable for the guests. If you know me, whether I want to or not, I give it 110% if I'm going to put effort into it. Half assed effort is not my thing, unless it's Ed's ass cause that's still quite a lot of ass. And I care about Ed enough to take the responsibility off his back.

That said, I DO have a dream wedding that I have rehearsed in my head many times before with the different boys I was crushing on when I was young.

I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral. When I visited St Mark's Basilica in Italy, I imagined chasing the pigeons in my wedding gown and walking down the aisle. I've also daydreamed about doing it in Notre Dame as well. I guess if I ever do get to walk down the long aisle passing hundreds of filled pews, I would also have a very extragavant wedding gown. I'm not a hardcore bible thumper, but I respect the history and the architecture of these cathedrals.

And that's it. No ceremony or banquets or chair covers. Just a long aisle in a cathedral. Like Zoolander's catwalk except with stained glass and I'm walking towards a crucified man. Hmmm, it's starting to sound like Madonna's Like a Prayer video and that's creeping me out now.

But for Ed, I would walk only 25 feet in a small studio room in a plain wedding dress because I love him T H A T M U C H.

(so stop calling me scary Ed! because I'm not scary, and if you say it again, I will cut your nuts off, because I know it's the small things that hurt the most)

Ed's Stag

So Ed's stag (not the epic fail that happened in August) in January have been planned... they will be attending the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo 2009. There are at least 6 guys confirmed and one of the groomsmen will be booking the flights tonight to Vegas.

As much as I love Vegas, I have told the MOH that I don't think Vegas is an option for me. It comes to approx. $1K for each person and I can't justify having the girls spend that much and I know they would be chipping in for some of my expenses (ie. 151s!) anyway.

So I was looking at Seattle, since it's close and not really in town. The money saved can go towards outlet shopping...!

Other than Whistler, I am other to other suggestions for a stagette (plus 2 boys) though...

Review: Lisa's Bridal Salon

So I have added myself to the statistics of Lisa's horror stories... to make a long story short. Would I recommend Lisa's to anyone?

Probably yes.

Service (before deposit was made) - 9/10 The first 2 visits I've made was more than pleasant. As a bridesmaid, I have dealt with Vivian (she was horrible, ordered the wrong dress the bridesmaids and did not apologize for it. Nelson the manager or owner made the bride pick a much cheaper dress and did not pay back the difference), Rita R (she's all right) and for Rita P (she's phenomenal, ask to book with her if you are a bride looking for a dress). Rita P was my salesrep when I was shopping for the dress, she really gave 100% service and more. Despite of all the horror stories that I've heard, I booked with them to see what they are like not expecting to actually buy the dress from there. After my experience with Rita P, I did not book elsewhere because she choose the right dresses for my style and did I mention that her service was phenomenal?

Service (after the deposit was made) - 3/10 After the deposit has been made, I did not deal with Rita P anymore and Nelson (manager,owner, bigger cheese) becomes the point of contact (or no contact, in my case). In a span of 2 months, I had inquired about my dress which after 5 or 6 emails, he finally responded with "What is your name again?" which I replied immediately what my name was and did not hear back from him until I went to pick up my dress when it finally came in. As I was leaving, I inquired about buying another dress from them (I know, what was I thinking?!?!) and asked Nelson if he can pull the dress that I had in mind off the rack. He said sure and never came back with my dress. After asking another saleperson to do it, she came back within 10 seconds with the dress. By then, I knew that I would much rather get elsewhere. I gave a 3 because the shoes actually came in (see previous posts).

Usually, I don't let bad service deter me from an establishment, just because you have one bad rep that was drop kicked in the head as a child doesn't mean that the business is bad in general. In Lisa's case, the reps are good, but the person that pockets your money could not give 2 shits whether you come back or not, and that's not cool with me.

Over all, Lisa's has a nice selection of dresses at a reasonable price. And if you end up with a good salesperson, she can close the deal with you. However, I would suggest going elsewhere if customer service is a priority, especially from management level.

Dress is in!

My wedding dress is in!

For the past few weeks, I've been trying to get a hold of someone from Lisa's to confirm whether my dress has beading or not. I don't recall if it does and after seeing a photo of it, I'm convinced that it does not. However, after I paid for the dresses at Lisa's, the service literally disappeared. People don't call or write back as they promised.

All the bridesmaids dresses and 2 pairs of shoes are in as well. One pair is missing and I hope that we will get it or else I will have to return the other 2 pairs. Again, they couldn't tell me anything about it.

I will call them and let them know I'll be dropping by soon.

Fruit Centrepieces

I've been looking at some ideas for fruit centrepieces.

Chinese like practicality and food and I like to save money so I think fruit is a better option for me rather than fresh orchid centrepieces (when it seemed realistic that I would win 6/49 before the wedding day). Fresh orchid centrepieces are absolutely gorgeous.

Unfortunately, there are no fruits available during the winter that I want in our theme colours, unless i want a bunch of squished blueberries dying the white tablecloths, if they are even available...

Just some ideas here for arrangement... nothing made me go 'wow'...

Some of the lemons and limes could be a bit fresher looking...! I wonder what's another option than using glass vases?






Ed had this idea that since our wedding is close to chinese new year, we could put the 'gut' (tangerine?) trees out. I have not seen a small gut tree before and I don't know about asking the helpers to transport fresh plants.

Another option is having pussy willows in vases but we didn't want tall centrepieces that obstruct the view. And we don't want guests to fight over who gets to take pussies home.

I was ready to leave out the centrepieces because most guests don't remember about centrepieces (they will remember if we serve bad food!) except the person that takes it home but Ed really want them so I guess I gotta do what the gay man wants.

Chinese Invites screw ups

I hate dealing with chinese owned businesses.

I got my chinese invites printed at the invite store in Chinatown. Ed and I have been there twice and talked to the son that does the typesetting. He gave me quotes to the designs that we were looking at and when we returned, the father took our order.

When we got the first draft, there were many mistakes including my name on the english portion and mistakes on the chinese portion where they spelled my last name with 2 different ways (I have one last name) on the same sheet.

My mom returned to the store with the draft and the changes. She was told by the dad that:

1) we can only have one draft, additional drafts cost extra

2) if we wanted to have our names printed on the front page (which is the standard way), that's an extra $30.

3) font size is not adjustable - this was corrected after my mom whipped out another invite she got with bigger fonts printed by them.

So my mom came home and told me about this and I was like I DON'T THINK SO! and called the son right away to straighten it out. It wasn't that hard because what his dad asked for was pretty ridiculous. It was still a waste of my time to lay the smackdown.

We got the second draft back today and this time they misspelled my name wrong on the rsvp return envelopes.

Westwood Plateau Golf and Country Club

So our winter wedding will be at Westwood Plateau Golf and Country Club. That wasn't surprising, was it? :)

The set-up will be very similar to what you see in these photos from their website. Ed and I love the old wood cabin-like decor and there's a dance floor for the family friends that ballroom dances.

We will also be having our ceremony at the same location (indoors of course!).

For those that are coming, please come on time. If your invite says that it starts at 4:00pm, it will start at 4:00pm. Please allow an extra 20 mins extra time than what google maps suggest to come up because of snow (even if it is not snowing in Vancouver) conditions, traffic and unexpected ninja attacks.

In the Wedding Business

Many small businesses in the wedding industry claim that the drive to start their business was that they could not find decent services or affordable prices when they were planning their weddings.

What I don't understand is that if this is the case, why are wedding related services/products still cost so much? Unless you have the hook ups, it's not easy to find anything decent price. Brides are not stupid! Unless they are stupid to begin with, then God bless the man that want to marry her.

I think it's misleading to say 'I started this business because I want to help brides since this wasn't available to me when I was getting married.'

They should just say 'I started this business because there's a lot of money that you'll be spending and I'd like to have some.'

That said, if you need a MUA or unique phone chains for your wedding favours, then I would like to have some of your money.

Chinese Dress options

My mom wanted me to get a kwa for the tea ceremony... Kwa is a proper chinese wedding dress. It is different from qi paos and cheong sams. Qi paos belong in a Jackie Chan movie though I already had a qi pao custom made in Hong Kong for the toasting.

This is a two-piece kwa on the left.

As shown, it is not very sexy looking like have a red silk comforter draped on me. Chances are that I'll use it just once for the tea ceremony and no one else will see it other than the relatives passing out the bling. So i'm thinking whether I should save money but just wearing the qi pao only.

ALSO... if I'm wearing a chinese wedding dress, i think the groom should wear a chinese wedding suit as well. Yes, there are chinese groomswear, I've seen it in the Mo Hup Peens where they get married with the black hat and the big red bow and guests drink rice wine straight from big ceramic pots.

It'll be like the photo on the right except I won't wear a red bandanna because I'm not a street gang bride like that child-bride.

I think it's worth it to get a kwa done if it means that I'll have photos of Ed wearing a Big Red Bow piggy-backing me up the stairs! Yeeeehaw...!

Photographer Drama

Photographer: Hamid Attie

The morning of the day that we were supposed to meet Daniel to pay for the deposit and look at the sample albums, we got an email from him regarding the price change. The price was changed on the night before, which affected our package by:

1) about $500 hundred dollars increase
2) no engagement shoot or prints included anymore
3) we lose some hours on the service

The new packages come with one more photog so that means we have one more to feed! Extra cost!

Since we had agreed to meet with him and had no reason to bail out, we went to see what's up with the overnight price hike. Since he's taking away the prints that were included in the original package, it's not like there's an increase on photo development. The cost of the increase would go straight into his pocket. So I mentioned that it was quite sudden to spring an email like that on the morning of the day we're going to pay the deposit giving Daniel a chance to tell us why he did that (though the inner me was 'BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE!', and the inner evil me was 'DOUCHEBAG!'). He just shrugged and said 'Oh sorry about that.' He also didn't bring the albums which was also a large reason why we were there.

Many friends thought it was greed at first, but any one in a business like this would know that doing what Daniel did would surely lose a customer rather than keep one. My conclusion came to this - Daniel did not want our business.

Thinking back, these were probably the reasons why he bailed the way he did:

1) Daniel is aware that there will be other professional photogs at our wedding - he may feel that it may interrupt his work or that he does not have the confidence to be around other professional photogs.
2) I pointed out his spelling mistakes on the price list... all of them - he probably thought 'crazy bridezilla' (he's right about the crazy part)

As a MUA, I have declined some clients if I saw dickness in them that could potentially hurt my business even if I do an excellent job. My services are not cheap so some do hold that against me (which they can freely book elsewhere but many don't). I can tell within the first 10 mins of our conversation if I'm dealing with a dickbag or not, then I decide whether to be booked or decline them. However, I have never done it in such a douchebag on the morning of the deposit!

We decided to look elsewhere and I still wanted my first choice. I contacted Hamid again and told him the truth that we could not afford him and gave him our real budget. He generously offered to lower the price for us since our date was not in peak season. I told Ed this and we went to meet with him.

The meeting went very well and was done really professionally. Daniel's initial meeting was good too (he gave us his albums to go over, looked at one slideshow but didn't take any notes) but that was because it was our first and had nothing to compare it with. Hamid showed us 2 slideshows and kept stopping to explain how he took the photograph. Hamid also took notes about our wedding, schedule and what we wanted. Ed loved the fact that he is passionate about food as well (how hard is that, really... everyone needs to eat).

So we went with Hamid afterall. I was ready to spring the extra money for him from the beginning and if we didn't get shafted by Daniel, Ed may not even consider meeting with Hamid so it all worked out in the end.

First Gift from my Mom

My mom is going to pay for my wedding dress as part of her wedding present to me. That is very thoughtful of her to do that since the wedding gown is a western tradition and I only see her taking care of the chinese traditions like the jade and gold jewellery (though I'm not a fan of gold but let's not argue with tradition, or receiving bling).

Initially, I was thinking of selling my dress after the wedding, but since it's a gift from my mom, I plan to keep it after the wedding.

She also mentioned that she wanted to buy me a set of pearl jewellery. I'm also not a fan of pearls (or jewellery in general) but I'm extremely grateful to receive this from her.

The problem is making sure Ed will keep a straight face during the ceremony while watching his wife-to-be say her vows with a pearl necklace...

Very Limited Guestlist

We don't want to think about the guest list just yet. We can't invite everyone that we want because we're only limited to 240 guests. Both sets of our parents has a lot of relatives and are very social people and quite frankly, we're doing this for the families.

Friends that have gone through this have warned that the guestlist is the root of many arguments. I agree as it will not surprise me if this does happen, but that's only if we let this happen. Ed and I had agreed on these terms:

1) we split the tables as fair as possible between the families and ourselves (we split half again between Ed and myself)

2) if our family side need extra tables, it comes out from our own personal quota (update: Sept - Ed has lost one table!).

I have made a deal with my mom. We will leave each other alone regarding tables. She won't bug me for more tables and I won't ask her if she can give up any. Easy enough! This is probably the most assuring part of the whole guestlist/invite part. (update: Oct - my mom and I are still keeping true to our word)

Families get frustrated when we put a cap on how many they can invite, and it's because they feel that we are limiting them rather than seeing that a venue can only accommodate up to a limit.

I won't be inviting many of my friends. I have friends from the past and present. Most of my friends that I invite will be ones that matter now.

If they are truly good friends, they will understand. If they don't understand, well, then good that they are not coming...!